Hello? / Innocent Bystanders
Hello?
I am not sure why I am writing, but I have to know why this is so hard for me to forget. A week ago a man I worked with two years ago called and told me he still thinks about me all the time. He knew I was married and so he never did anything about it. He would give hints, but I thought he was being nice.
I have been married to a wonderful man for 13 years. We both have never cheated, and he has dealt with my spending habits. We have two children. The other man has a girlfriend now, and after speaking to him Saturday night, I have not spoken to him again.
I know I am not happy and do not think I can stay with my husband. I love him but am not in love with him and haven’t been for a long time. I think this heartfelt admission from another helped me see this, though I am not sure why he would call after all this time, and then not call or e-mail again.
Pattie
Pattie, you’ve been carrying around an unloaded rifle, and now someone has put a live round in the chamber. The question you ask is, should I pull the trigger? One phone call is basically nothing, yet one phone call from one man on one night, and you are ready to leave your husband.
Who knows what triggered the call. Your former coworker may have been drunk or lonely or feeling amorous. You praise your husband for dealing with your spending habits, and that may be the red flag. Have you reached the end of the line with using money to buy moments of happiness?
You say you don’t love your husband anymore, but we are wondering if you ever loved him. Actual love builds and builds. There is only one thing to do. Look in your heart and figure out how you went from accepting a marriage proposal to being willing to abandon a marriage after a single phone call.
Wayne
Innocent Bystanders
My wife and I are good friends with a couple whom we often accompany to blues festivals and other music venues. The last two times we have been out my buddy’s wife has spent at least an hour or two in the company of two other men she met at these events.
She just disappears. My buddy has made several comments about her “blues boyfriends” and seems not happy about the situation. My wife and I definitely felt uncomfortable both times. In all other regards they seem to be perfectly happy together and enjoy a good relationship.
My question is this. Does this sound like normal behavior? Even if the behavior is innocent on her part, most of the guys I know who hang around other women are usually interested in one thing. And why the heck do I care enough to write you about this?
Vern
Vern, a few years ago Wayne was driving on a highway when a man in a new pickup truck passed him. He was a nice looking older man, and Wayne got a good look at him. When the pickup was well ahead of him, Wayne noticed a tractor trailer approaching the highway from a side road.
The tractor trailer suddenly lurched forward to beat the traffic. In an instant Wayne foresaw what would happen, but he was powerless to stop it. White and blue smoke poured from tires and brakes as the pickup slammed under the larger truck and exploded.
Some men and women can just be friends, but this feels like the last few seconds before an accident. There are elements in the lives of others which make it impossible for us to befriend them. Seeing shock on the faces of bystanders may help this couple face the conflagration they are trying to ignore.
Tamara
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com. |
Posted on Aug 06, 2007 by Site Admin
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