The Opportunist
The Opportunist
I met a man online who was separated from his wife. I had intimacy with him, and found him asking to see me again the very next day. A week later he tells me not to call because he’s going to see his wife and wants a clear head. I said fine, but I wasn’t going to wait for him and would pursue other opportunities.
The next day he calls saying he wants to see me, but says he’s not going to let himself get carried away. The following day was my birthday, and he spent two days with me. He began staying at my house every Saturday minimum, and sometimes Friday and all day Sunday.
He’s surprised me with dinners and small gifts. Normally he doesn’t call from his cell because the bills go back to the old house. He doesn’t want her to see them and suspect he is seeing someone else. He says he doesn’t want to hurt her unnecessarily.
One Thursday recently he called, and I spent two hours on the phone. I told him the issue wasn’t that he’s in love with his wife. The issue is that I am a man. He said I was right. The next day he calls me to say that he’s going back with her to see if he can be happy with her. Not even 24 hours pass, and he calls to say he’s left her for good.
We had dinner that night, and he tells me he told her he wasn’t in love with her anymore. She said she wasn’t either, and then she went berserk. She said she would make life impossible for him. Two days later she called him to soften things up. From what he tells me, she’s still waiting for him.
Recently he asked me not to call because he wants to feel he’s taking all the steps forward. He’s again saying he feels confused, doesn’t know if he’s gay, and doesn’t know if he is going back to his wife. I said, "You’ve been saying that since day one."
He says he’s falling in love with me, and he asks me for patience while he sorts his head out. He says he’ll reward me. I’m getting close to the end of my patience because deep down I know he’s gay.
Antonio
Antonio, there are people who lack love, loyalty, attachment, and honor. Intimate acts mean no more to them than their sense of pleasure at the moment. Sex is not a promise or a connection from them, but they know what it elicits from another.
He’s not gay, he’s not bi, he’s not straight. It is whoever he can have sex with. It’s the act he is interested in. You would like to define him as gay, but he will not let you.
The gifts, the attention, the words are just the cost to him of getting what he wants. When he is going to have sex with his wife, he tells you not to call because he is paying the cost to her. After sex with her and while thinking about you, he calls. Now he pays the cost to you.
Like a fake psychic doing a cold reading, he has the ability to read people, and he has accurately read your type. He can spend the day with you and the next day say, "Don’t call me. I’m confused." Yet he knows with absolute certainty next weekend he can be with you again.
This man is a narcissist. His attitude is, "Others are just marionettes on my stage." He derives his power from saying everything you want to hear, interspersed with "Go away. I don’t want you." That’s what keeps gold miners panning for gold. Having panned a ton of gravel and found a few nuggets, they are now willing to pan ton after ton of worthless rock.
Wayne & Tamara
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Posted on Jul 23, 2007 by Site Admin
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