World Leader
World Leader
I grew up in a large, close family. My parents and grandparents all have the kind of relationship I want. I’ve had crushes throughout school, but I had high standards and didn’t want to waste my time on the boys where I lived.
There was only one guy I contemplated dating, but we were friends and pretty much when we first met -and were crushing on each other- we decided a relationship between us wouldn’t work. So I dated another boy.
Things started great. For awhile I thought someday we’d have the kind of relationship my parents and grandparents have. However, when things got bad, the only one I felt comfortable talking to was my guy friend. As things got worse with the boyfriend, I talked even more to my friend.
Finally last summer I tried breaking up with my boyfriend. He didn’t take it well, and for fear of what he’d do, I stayed with him. In August my friend left for school. We were hanging out one last time before he went, and I decided to tell him I liked him as more than a friend. He said he was feeling the same for me.
Well, we ended up kissing. Hormones kind of took over, and we had sex. We decided it was best not to tell anyone, especially my boyfriend. After about a week though, guilt kicked in and I told my boyfriend I cheated. He was furious, but forgave me. I promised him I would never talk to my guy friend again.
That didn’t work. I missed him, so we’ve been keeping in touch. He always asks how things are going with my boyfriend. I’m afraid to ask what he feels because I’m afraid of the answer. I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend because I don’t want to be alone. Will someone please tell me what I should do!
Blythe
Blythe, in 1820 an American congressman from North Carolina named Felix Walker made a speech which was both tedious and full of nonsense. When his colleagues in Congress criticized him, he assured them he hadn’t been addressing them, but was merely saying what would go over well in his home county of Buncombe, North Carolina .
Ever since then bunkum, or just plain bunk, have been synonyms for claptrap. To 'debunk' something is to take the bunkum out of it. We understand why you are confused. We are surrounded in bunkum, and no one seems to notice.
In January we received the annual pocket almanac "The Economist" magazine sends subscribers. The almanac lists tiny Aruba as the place with the highest divorce rate, followed closely by the United States . It has always struck us as odd that the US, the traditional world leader in divorce, is also the country most prolific in offering relationship advice to the rest of the world.
Perhaps the two facts are connected. According to the director of the largest American marriage education organization, every couple has ten areas of incompatibility they will never resolve. This isn’t a problem, she claims, because we know 'absolutely' you can take any couple, put them in a marriage class, and the women will "walk out and say, ’I married the most wonderful guy.’" It’s simply a matter of learning a set of skills to make the relationship work.
For decades this idea has persisted: there is a technique to transform a poor choice of a partner into a good choice. That idea is bunkum, and the divorce rate proves it.
Your parents and grandparents have given you the perfect example of what it means to be well-married. It is almost part of your DNA. They have shown you what to look for. But if you continue to ignore the warning signs of a bad relationship, you will help maintain the United States as a world leader in a most undesirable category.
Wayne & Tamara
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964 , Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Posted on Mar 26, 2007 by Site Admin
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