Deep In The Heart
Deep In The Heart
I went on a trip to Texas this summer with my three children and a girlfriend. Looking back now, I should not have taken my friend. She is a drama queen to the max. We were staying with my dad, and the reason for the trip was to meet my sister I didn’t know about until two years ago.
Mom and dad split when I was two, and he was never part of my life. We have a fairly tense relationship as he doesn’t know how to be a dad. As a child my mother told me horrible things about him. My girlfriend added to the stress by sitting my dad down and giving him advice.
One night my dad made margaritas. My friend had three and was toast. He offered to show her his collection of prize classic vehicles he’s restored. These cars are his pride and joy, and he shows them off every chance he gets. An hour or so later he headed to bed, and my girlfriend gave him a hard time about it.
She said, "What if I run out of margaritas?" He said, "Well then, come wake me up, and I’ll make you more." She took this as a come-on and decided he was trying to hook up with her. Neither my sister nor I saw this as a come-on, but my girlfriend wouldn’t let it rest. She brought it up continually for the rest of the week.
As the week came to a close I was soaking in every last moment with my sister. Six days just wasn’t enough to make up for 23 years. My friend barged into our conversation, talking nonstop about a relative’s marital problems. Next morning she asked if we could swing by someone’s house for a quick goodbye before our 16-hour drive home.
Her quick goodbye turned into 45 minutes. My 3-year-old was screaming bloody murder, and I was exhausted. Four hours into the trip I let loose. I told her she was rude. I said she was mighty full of herself to think every guy wants her. I also told her I was never going to wear the pair of short shorts she bought me for my birthday.
I know words are like toothpaste, and once you squeeze it out it doesn’t go back in. So I wrote her an apology. I said in some ways you are still that chubby little girl who has low self-esteem. Despite what you feel inside you are a beautiful woman with the heart the size of all those Texas egos.
I said you are Mother Teresa in some ways. I say in some ways because I’m sure Mother Teresa would never break out a permanent marker in a bar bathroom and write on someone’s naked fat butt like you did, but the truth is I miss you.
I haven’t heard back, and it’s been three months.
Bonnie
Bonnie, if this woman and a stranger were on the bank of a river and you fell in, we’d bet on the stranger to jump in and save you. Your friend might say, "I can’t imagine Bonnie wants me to jump in and get this outfit wet."
People have a hard time accepting they have friends who are not friends, just as people have a hard time admitting they married the wrong person. But both can be true. You offered to make up with her. That is enough.
Somehow you have lost the definition of the word 'friend.' A friend is someone you can count on, someone you can tell your deepest secrets to and they will never tell. Cicero said we may as well take the sun out of the sky as take the friendship out of life. A friend, he said, is a second self. But his words apply to true friends, not drama queens.
Wayne & Tamara
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Posted on Dec 18, 2006 by Site Admin
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