March 21, 2005
Office Politics
Recently my boss updated our software with the new 2005 version. Everything went okay except something was added onscreen we didn't need. It didn't print out on invoices so it didn't really matter.
Two days later she went into the software and changed the template. Basically that messed up everything. It wasn't really a problem either, because we got it fixed and everything ran fine. However, while we were getting things fixed, all our invoices had to be handwritten.
On a morning when I wasn't at work she informed everyone I caused the problem. Of course, they brought it up later in front of me and her, and she smiled. I came to my own defense and said I didn't create the mess.
However, I felt humiliated and am not sure if I can trust her or work for her.
She acted like nothing was wrong. What should I do, and how should I react to this matter? This isn't the only incident.
Lily
Lily, one slang term for the devil is "Old Nick." The term refers to Niccolo Machiavelli, whose realistic book about how politics is actually practiced was considered by some to be the work of the devil.
Machiavelli observed a person who knows how to craftily manipulate the minds of others will, in the end, surpass those who lay their foundation upon honesty. He also noted that most people are so controlled by present necessities and so simpleminded they will allow themselves to be deceived.
Blurring reality with lies often works, and what Old Nick said explains why negative campaigning works so well. It also explains why your boss acts as she does. Creating confusion in the minds of coworkers, customers, and superiors about the real source of the problem protects her position of power.
You were right to stand up for yourself, and in the workplace that is about all you can do. People like your boss usually pick on a weak target and defending yourself makes you less vulnerable to her attacks.
It was said of one American president that he wouldn't tell you your pants were on fire unless he thought it was in his own self-interest to do so. Your boss is like that. Knowing that, you need to decide if you should remain in this workplace.
Wayne & Tamara
Stalemate
My new boss and I are both engineers. He flirts with me one minute, then pretends I don't exist the next. I have seen him all over 20-something female interns, and he is dating his boss's secretary.
My husband has ignored me our entire marriage. We went to counseling, talked to a priest, and are trying to patch things up, but my heart isn't in it 100%. Two years ago, when I turned 35, I had my first baby. Afterwards I lost weight and got my hair highlighted. I looked better than I had my whole life.
The weekly meetings with my boss heated up. He rubbed my bra strap and stroked my hair while keeping a watchful eye out for his girlfriend. This escalated until we made out in my car for about five minutes. It was so hot! I was smitten.
I told him I loved him. He said things like "if only I had met you a few years ago" and "what about your family." He went on to say he was celibate for religious reasons. Is there reason to hope for a relationship with him?
Marissa
Marissa, Shakespeare's plays are full of stock characters like the fool, the pedant, and the braggart soldier. Your boss is a stock character: the man who stirs women up without intending to act.
In chess a player says "j'adoube" or "I adjust" to indicate he is not making a move, just adjusting a piece. Your boss is not making a move. He is just working you up.
Wayne & Tamara
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Posted on Mar 14, 2005 by Site Admin
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